Smile-breaks
Driverless?
The city of San Diego is moving forward, so they say, into the era of "less-es," starting with driverless taxis. The company Waymo is providing a driverless ride-hailing service, available within a 50-square-mile area in the core of the city. Need a ride? Hail a robotaxi!
How do you do that? There's no driver to see you waving your arms around; no driver to hear you give out with that one sharp whistle you perfected in eighth grade. Step out in front of a robotaxi? Not recommended.
And where do you sit in this driverless robotaxi? Not in the driver's seat—they might think you're the driver and that would ruin the whole idea. You can't sit beside the driver—there's no driver to sit beside. Can't sit in the back seat—you'd for sure turn into a backseat driver and—no drivers, remember?
Ah. The app. Apps do it all these days—except put drivers in cars. The Waymo One app will keep you up-to-date on everything driverless. But will it tell you where to sit in that driverless vehicle?
What's next? Chef-less restaurants? Imagine the kitchen scene. Carrots leaping out of the fridge onto the cutting board; knives floating over to chop and dice—no chef needed. Platters of yummy dinners gittin'-up-n-going out to the dining area, untouched by human hands. Who needs waiters? Hope they don't land on the table to your left; that's your dinner!
Musician-less bands? Guitar picks hop over to their guitar's strings and start, um, picking; flutes wait for a breeze strong enough to gulp in and get the right notes out; drums having a ball, beating themselves to their inner soul's rhythm. Wait! Flutes? In a band? They must've got lost. Go back to the orchestra, you guys.
How 'bout gardener-less lawn maintenance? Mowers rolling merrily over and all around your yard, no human keeping them in line, the app's telling them where to go. Edgers making delightful designs around the, um, edges. Weeds? They'll have to struggle to get themselves up and out of the ground. Unless the app can do something magical that we don't know about.
Doctor-less doctor's offices? Have a seat. Blood pressure cuff will attach itself shortly if it can find the right spot on your arm. Say "ah"—to whom?
Garbageman-less trash pickup? Driverless trash trucks roll along, stopping at curbs, throwing out those big arms to grab your trash bin—WAIT! That's my car you're messing with! Where's that app?
I tried to get my computer to write a writer-less Smile-breaks. Didn't work. I'm still in the Dark Ages of non-app supported actions. Maybe next year. . .